The quiet moments of doubt
The length of an inhale
When your mind reminds you that stars are ebony
And dogs never smile
God lifts his hand to wipe sweat from his brow
(how you miss the touch)
Free fall fear pulls your comfortable rug out from your tiny life
Rivers stop and trees drop all their leaves at once
And all that you know
And all that you think you might dream
Vanishes soundlessly
A question of existence
Do I be…
Fragile thoughts in scarred hands weigh heavily
In that moment
Waiting for an acknowledgment
Of what is
I look to others with pain and fear in my narrowing eyes
They have no answers
Everything but
Anything but
How would they know what it is for me to feel
Wanted
Desired
Whole
Testosterone pride shrugs off the question
And shields anyone from seeing the scared little boy
Pulling on his strong leg demanding an answer
Tears furrowing canyons in his cheek
And the moment passes
And I am left with the silence
And the feeling that something large and shadowy has passed
Behind my head
And that I