4-25-91 Road Closed

South Egremont,MA

Here I am
Back in the thick of it
Trying to get lost in a place
I know better
than a musician and his instrument
Notes leading me,rests calling me
I remember being in houses
The owners are faded denim,cheap beer,
Musty rooms,closed doors;
All I have now.

Dirt road beckons “I’m closed,
did that ever stop you before?”
Ruts like seams in a bad earthquake movie
Rocks,culvert lunging at me
My hands slack behind the wheel
Hoping that the other end of this so called path
Leads to magic,undiscovered places,secret worlds,
The nearest paved road.
“No turning back now,
at least I won’t have to come back this way…”

I’m sorry
I said that?

That’s it.
Road really closed.
Slowly I turn,inch by inch,
The path I traveled I must travel again

(I told you so)
I’ve been there,this town,this road,this lesson,this feeling
And I will appreciate it
If the Earth doesn’t swallow me
Letting go…

I’m back.

My thoughts clear during this exercise
My heart strong
Only action remains
But once again the road is smooth
Release the safe ride
Feel some fear and pain
Grow in a way that doesn’t make you
Want to get lost
Or run away.