2-5-96 stasis

Must I, I must
To begin the process
I write to avoid writing
Sharing truth to sidestep honesty
Denying dreams like a fading gambler
Who never won a hand in his life
When I stop moving
I become very still, too much so
Where mold is more likely than roots
I forget to forgive, care, act
Search my body for a coin slot
Never spend my own money
Sleeping sitting up, awake lying down
The words are over there;
My eyes no longer focus.