12-24-95 year end wrap up

Another year, another pile of stuff from the guy who’s never home. This year I really wasn’t around, being on the road about 45 weeks this time; all well and good, I’m thankful to be working, but I missed having some time by the lake. For those who were out of touch with me this year (most of you), I started in January with a heavy metal band called Megadeth (not a typo) and traveled with them until September 11th. September 12th I began a journey with my old friends Little Feat that kept me busy until a few days ago.
Luckily, I was able to write on the road this year, that sometimes being a problem, with inspiration and energy replaced by survival. So…here we go.

Happy Birthday Asshole– Wow, swear words right off the bat…my 32nd year was ushered in by an end to a relationship and the realization that I have gained the tools to deal with these moments that have a way of slowing all of us down. Love never dies, it just moves to a different area code.

dude band part 1– Megadeth may now be based in Arizona, but they still hold on to some of the southern Cal lingo. Dude this, dude that…it’s infectious. Sometimes I write to prevent my mood from taking over my life and making it ugly, hard and bitter. Welcome to the dumping ground.

dude band part 2– Touring nowadays financially has no time for days off. It can be rough on the body, rough on the mind. Ah, the glamour!

dude band part 3– Day off, homesick, making expensive long distance calls. The image of the hands appears a few times this year; I had been experiencing some problems with my own. Just another gratitude list…

one wonders– Spain, my homeland (was born there, if you didn’t know). It has a strange effect on me. More therapy.

four way blues– An attempt at a change in form, perhaps a few conversations going on at once. The bottom section was written down and across at the same time; each column is a thought. Across it reads somewhat insane but has a path of its own. Actions, fears, affirmations…they all run through our heads at once and come to a conclusion… hopefully.

the pupil- We are all students if we allow ourselves to be taught. People I meet trigger me to look in and access what’s really going on.

stop already– If you’re single, perhaps you can relate. If you’re not, try to remember when you were and had hope. Perhaps the one piece I’ve been afraid of having used against me in a court of law…
happy again– the title a take off on a song title by Megadeth, I try to capture what returning from a long trip is like once I know that the work is done.

– Japan is a place where my verbose nature slips away for a minute.

Noriko– Infatuation, pure and simple. I continue to be attracted to that which I will never have.

Nara– Nara is a town not far from Kyoto in Japan. It is home to a beautiful park on the hill above the town that has shrines, pagodas and the Giant Budda. We had a day to explore this place and was one of the best times I had all year. In the park, deer wander freely on the lawns, on the street and beyond. A spiritual moment.

Shinkansen– When bands go to Japan, they invariably travel on the bullet train at some point. I try to capture the experience.

ah, the smell of it– Bitter? Nooooo, not me! For once I don’t give myself any advice at the end. A proper venting.

huh?– Sometimes work can be influenced by the state of the people you work for; it affects everyone involved. Gossip followed with a prayer.

dude band part 5– Where’s part 4? Never existed. An emotional attack on the heavy metal fans…more venting.

untitled 8/31/95– Another affirmation as the morale of the tour crumbles. It’s hard to go to work if you’re job is dead.

untitled 8/31/95 #2– A list of words that didn’t have the patience to wait for a sentence.

untitled 9/3/95– I’m a night person who people insist on having wake up in the morning. You’d think I would get better at it…

untitled 9/4/95– Rio and a book called “The Language Of Life”, a collection of interviews by Bill Moyers with poets. Truly inspiring and a wonderful way to get others opinions without the fear of being rejected. Content to be up late and to do what I do.

untitled 9/5/95– I found a line in the Moyers book about what motivates poets and the reply was “the ache within the ache”…wow. Wish I said that…content to borrow it though.

untitled 9/11/95– The book continues to inspire me even without anything to say.

untitled 10/8/95– Write it down and most of the time it passes…try it, it works for me.

welcome to Europe– Little Feat brought me to Europe for my fourth time this year; Megadeth having had me there 3 times already. With the time change and a months worth of thoughts in my head I was bound to write.

Family– I had the chance to visit my father at the same time my bother and his family were in town. It was the first time in thirteen years we were all in the same place at the same time. This is for Sam and Val, the two coolest Dads I know.

beyond arm’s reach– The hardest part of traveling for a living is not being there for the people you care for when they need someone. This one also touches upon the fact that some people do not have the chance to live a full, healthy life.

“Dammit, Jim!”– On a bus listening to Blue Nile and looking out the window at the cold countryside. I love my life a lot more than I used to.

three feet tall– One night in Hamburg, Germany in the red light district (where our show was), I rounded the corner on the way to dinner and saw a group of very young school children being brought up the street. In this place, an adult area, it seemed very out of place. I couldn’t shake the image, so I wrote.

that’s a wrap, enjoy the buffet…– Never read Mark Leyner when you have something on your mind.

a study
– We were taking the ferry from Copenhagen to Oslo and like most of the large overnight boats in Scandinavia, it’s a party barge. I wandered into the disco and was surprised to see that I could figure out what these teenagers were going to do before they did. It was a clinical view, so I wrote a study.

That’s it for this year, I hope you enjoy it. I’d like to thank a few people for their help this time around: Tom and Sally Drennon, Michael Kaye, Jerry Wortman, Stuart Bennett, Kelly Smith, Kelley Frances, Cheryll Stone-Jenkins, Lisa Goldstein, Chris Bellerue, Jonny Palmer, Nick Menza,David Ellefson, Bob Anderson, Skip Rogers, Bob Andres, Val Michalski, Sam Michalski, Evan Michalski, Skip Rickert, Graham Holmes, Marc Silag, Paul Barrere, Fred Tackett, Bill Payne, the crews of Megadeth and Little Feat and God for…everything.