1/16/92- Game

                                                        1/16/92
                                             Durban,South Africa
 
 
                          Game
 
 
     What a strange time for mourning
     As if tears could last for 13 years
     As if I could force myself to feel
     That passion and pain again
     Not as if it was all of life to be
     (I hope losing never is)
     But a building block of a narrow platform
     My feet touched upon one time.
 
     It served as a home for the many sides
     Of a growing boy too delicate to see
     Acceptance many years away,almost as many
     As the facets that did reside there
     The ice cold distance of figuring others
     The joy of hurting others well
     Selfish self sacrifice broken bruised badly
     What it means to be part of a group
     For a scared little boy who just wanted
     To be a part of something,anything.
 
     A group of misfits,who would do all they could
     And it was never enough,never
     Not even once
     For at sixteen what do you know
     Of numbers and safety,ritual motions
     Only emotions of winning and losing
     And all we had were guesses of victory
     To imagine the opposite,grasping at smoke
     Multiply time a formula we never learned.
 
     It was nice to have the chance
     To be part of the biggest heart
     And I have felt pain,anger,apathy
     For the way the path was changed
     But mostly I feel love
     For the game,the people,the lesson,the memory
     Now to know that it doesn't have to leave me
     That even the champions cried in sorrow
     Even if I can not..