Miami- Sao Paulo
This is when fear leaves
Wrapped in a moist sheet
Before departing yet again
Where silence and sadness used to stay
I will find the will to grow up and act
I do not possess the heart of a gambler
Yet now is the time to speak the names
Of goals, to turn from the selfish soul
Floating freely in a direction that makes sense, without guarantees or foresight;
This is as close to Vegas or Wall Street
As I’ve ever been, time to cast down
The toys of a child, commit, to us, to us
I could lose everything but what is my everything?
What is it without you?
How the future has no way of proceeding
Without my action, time for my hands to feel the shake of risk,
My head challenged by the pain of change, my heart
To soar with the power of faith and my feet, my silly frozen feet
To step into the unknown.
Realizing the resentment comes from having already arrived
Where I want to be and not knowing it, and being asked to change
Everything (now that I’m where I wanted to be) and realizing that
The other goal, the unspoken goal, is only possible by letting go
Of what I’ve accumulated and starting again, an adult, a partner,
A man with a woman, a soul with a mate.
I hate to be pushed, to be told, to
Be shown the error of my thinking
But this is what had to happen;
The doors and skylights
Of my life never fail to surprise me, show me how I
Stand in my own way, never moving forward, afraid to fail or
Succeed, improve or upgrade, my heart soars to hear this,
I still need to act but knowing that the path is one of chance,
Of change, of risk and possible joy, is so reassuring that
The stagnant success of past efforts can rest where they are
And I can look back at them if I choose.