’96 Cheat Sheet
shards- Well, once again I guess I looked at the fact that our time on earth, our experience, our burn marks slow us down or stop us from being honest about our feelings and emotions. How often do we not follow a path because “it’s not the right thing to do” or we’re shell shocked by life into some dispassionate status quo? As I point out, I don’t want the immediate naiveté of pre- conditioning to return, I just wonder where the spirit went.
tears on the turn signal- A good amount of this collection comes from a situation that was filled with sadness, disease and love. My schedule allowed me to be there for a friend in need this year; her life and it’s problems intertwined with mine for the months I was off the road. My experience with alcoholics only prepared me for half of the situation and thus began my beginning to an education of those who are on the other end of this disease. This is also a window of things to come as my heart opens and goes astray.
stasis- Trying to snap out of it again; once again time to jump start the creative and the honest…well, as honest as I get anyway…
ask me- Good to get a fixer when things are broke; it’s the part of being a hero that I know the best. The situation goes from the initial shock section to pain and anger. I think with my bad relationship skills this is when I feel needed the most; time to shine…
from the flames- A cold spring night and I’m falling in love…remember, trying to change a friend’s mind is like trying to change a tire on a semi with a salad fork. I watch the Phoenix rise from the flames and am transfixed; I love a good show.
proximity’s memory- In love and appreciating all things feminine. Perhaps thinking of one person and seeing the incredible in all women that day. To be close…it’s been a while. A thank you to God and to the women around me that don’t run screaming into the night away from me.
get busy- Well, when I’m home long enough to do plenty of nothing, the mind begins to run out of new things and the old things rush back in. Spring cleaning around the house and maybe even in my head…those corners with the cobwebs are not invisible anymore. The road usually snatches me away before anything gets done, so it’s just a preemptive kick in the ass.
prayer for boredom- Feeling like a dishrag, mopping up other’s messes…the fixer reaches his limit.
in disbelief of love- Oh man, I’m long gone…around the bend and digging it. No sweeter time in a man’s life…ignoring what is bound to come, trying to sound healthy and not too serious…yeah, right.
pity- BANG! The hero hits the wall…rejected I doubt my existence again and look for attention and additional pity… wow. Kinda like watching a rookie in a NASCAR race charge ahead and go into turn 4 ass end first at 180 mph…
great male questions- I ain’t done yet…not good enough to just doubt myself…let’s doubt men in general…looking back, I’m a crack up sometimes…
so little I know- How true…a reminder.
how to let go- Trying to talk my heart into something it doesn’t want to do…
homeless- This year I gave up my little guest house in Malibu Lake due to situations beyond my control. Probably the best thing I’ve done for myself for a long time. I was to be on tour for a few months and decided to get a place a few months later. The tour plans changed and I was left without a place to stay. I stayed with some friends while I was looking (thanks Jerry and Audrey!!!) but was feeling very disjointed because I didn’t have my own hole to crawl into.
new home- Got a new place… it’s wonderful. Stop by!
60- Both of my parents turned 60 this year…a little thank you note with a birthday card to my dad.
begging for sunset and dreading midnight- Still hanging on and sharing about it…trying to let go and not wanting to.
best friend- Yes, she is…still talking myself into reality on a lonely night away from home.
Gertrude- My Great-Grandmother passed away. I really hadn’t kept in touch in the past few years. My memories of her are strong though and I am more than a little bit sad that I missed the last few years of her life.
obscured by clouds- Feeling a little disjointed and the weather pulls it out of me…every time.
aching deck scribble- Getting ready to leave again, back screwed up and the holiday blues arrive…great way to end the year’s writing!