12-2-95 a study
Of a group
Of a culture
Of an age
It is clear that the ritual is universal. No progress has been made in quite some time. The female and the male of the species groom themselves lavishly before meeting. They gather in the ceremonial chamber where the primitive rhythms stifle some and free others. The females huddle together and only react to stimuli that is known or favored. In the case of the great Northern tribes, a dose of the Grease soundtrack illicits more of a response than the more urban Grandmaster Flash
(which leaves some of the females clumsy and confused while the males pretend to be from another tribe). The males draw closer mis-interpreting signals only they want to exist. The females smile, take a half step back and turn their heads to one side meaning “Fuck off, you have no chance in hell of mating with me during this lunar cycle”. The men once again mis-interpret this and feel it is a sign that they can be pushy, loutish and cocksure; and that this will seal the purpose of the ceremony.
During this time large amounts of cool refreshing beverages are ingested adding to the confusion of the male, his erratic behavior and the females inability to be clear on the lower male level. Please remember that the female wants copious amounts of attention; yes, on one level she wants to complete the ritual, but mainly she is quite happy to just have the male pulled through various hoops viciously by a large handful of pubic hair. If she notices an aroused state in the male, it is no longer a power thing, it’s a sexual thing and she loses interest. Various studies have shown that the female knows within 3 to 5 minutes whether or not there will be unity in the ceremony; in my study this evening I would make the time frame closer to 7 seconds. Alas, the male has no knowledge of this and proceeds on blind faith and testosterone. Rejection invariably follows.
At this point the male becomes mad, bitter, vengeful and not really sure of himself. Luckily for the life of the tribe he goes off, has a wank and gets over it. In time the females respond to something referred to as a “biological clock” and stop playing games and fuck the nearest male in fear of being alone. So much for progress.